Secretly I longed for a love like the Madisons.
I had not known love. I grew up in foster homes. My mother died when giving birth to me. My father was a drunkard. I bet by now he is dead.
The system came not took me away from him. I never stayed long enough in a home to get to know people. At a young age I began to work in gardens, any job I could get and I began to save.
I was mostly alone, I secluded myself from the other kids so I would not get to emotionally attached. When I had saved quite a lot. When I turned 17, an old couple I worked for gave me a substantial amount of money. I added to the one I had and moved into a shared one room apartment. That was way better than the foster home.
I continued to work and save, I then had enough for my own one roomed apartment. I worked and toiled, got sponsorship and that’s how I found myself at medical school. I then met Suzanne. And she showed me love.
Maybe she was just there to show me love is real. And get me on my feet. Maybe we were not meant to be, she was just a learning experience. I just now wish I knew back then.
I wish I could feel and experience that deep love, where someone doesn’t leave unexpectedly, where you grow old together.
Its then I realised I think I am falling in love with Mizzy. But she dint feel the same way. I always found myself either not loving or not being loved. Sigh.
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