To love and to hold 3:1

Yesterday, I met Mizzy for the first time at the park. (Please read prologue)

Even when I failed to sleep all night and fought the urge to pick up the phone and call her. I waited so as not to seem too desperate.

Though at 4:30am the next morning my phone was against my ear. My heart racing and my hand shaking. I waited for her to pick the call, praying she would pick up. It run several times then a sleepy voice went ‘hello’.
Out of panic, I cut the phone.

Man Matt! I mean obviously she is sleeping. Its half 4. Wow! I felt little ants running up my back, and my stomach felt quizzy. My heart was doing a lot more somersaults.

Ring! Ri…!

‘Yes,I…I’m sorry to call this early.’

The stammer always returned whenever I spoke to her.

‘Its not you calling Matt, its me calling you.’
‘Oh… Uhmmm… Yes. Right.’
‘So how did you sleep Matt?’
‘I good.’
‘Relax Matt.’

Her voice sounded assuring.

‘I was wondering would you like to go out with me Mizzy?’
‘Anywere like?’
‘Uhmmm like for a drive, or we could go visit a friend.’
‘Lol Matt Why don’t we start with a picnic?’
‘Yes sure, a picnic will do. So meaning this is a yes?’
‘Ok Matt.’

‘What are you doing today? Maybe if you tell me your address, or somewhere I can pick you, we can go today.’
‘Sorry Matt, but I need to go see my mother.’
‘Oh uhm ok…’

We continued to chat, I blubbered a lot of nonsense, but she was patient with me and laughed with me. I must have called her a thousand times that day, each time she picked up, she sounded as though she hadn’t seen me in years.

That night for the first time in many years. I slept like a baby, a smile on my face, peace deep inside my heart, a calmness and an aroma that caressed me softly till my eyes shut.

Soon the day for the picnic came. And we sat starring at each other.

‘So how is your mother?’
‘She’s keeping up.’
‘Tell me about you.’
‘What do you want to know Matt?’
‘Lol that term is too broad, there’s too much to know.’
‘Ok how old are you?’
‘Uhmm let’s just enjoy the picnic.’
‘Lol why don’t you want to answer Mizzy?’


‘Ok let me tell you about myseLf.’ Matt said.

I began to tell her who I thought I was. When I mentioned being a doctor, she laughed. Her laugh was sweet and light, like she made no effort to open her mouth and breath out air from her lungs.
At the end of the date, I had told her as much as I could leaving out Suzanne.

She had looked softly at me when I told her about Samantha.

‘Where you hurt?’
‘Not really, she was just a space invader.’
‘More like a bed invader?’
‘No Mizzy it wasn’t like that.’
‘Lol, it doesn’t matter who you saw and who you dint.’

I walked her to the doorstep and I was expecting a little goodnight kiss. She showed me positive signs. Licking her lips, starring at mine, her eyes jumping from my eyes to my lips. Taking the cue, I leaned over and brushed my tongue against her lips.

She pulled back. I dint expect this and almost lost balance. She caught me and we tried to untangle ourselves from this awkward position but ended up on sprawled on the floor instead. We both laughed. I’m sure anyone watching us would have thought we were drank.

‘I had a lovely time today Matt.’
‘Me too, in such a long time.’
‘But right now I…’
‘You don’t need to say it, I’m not in the right position for a relationship right now, its not me, its you.’
‘Hehehe see your stammer has gone.’

‘Has it? I just feel comfortable around you.’
‘Good so let’s not disturb this comfortableness with a relationship.’
‘Sigh, as much as I don’t wanna say this, You are right Mizzy.’
‘Ok good. We on the same page.’
‘Cool, would you like to come inside?’
‘I thought we just said we shouldn’t….’
‘I’m kidding wanted to see your expression.’
‘Thank you for today Matt.’

We saw a movement in the curtain.

‘Its mum, she’s so protective over me. I gotta go.’


I fought the tears that stung my eyes, so I turned quickly so she could not see them nor the disappointment in my eyes.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned and she peeked my cheek. The tears spilled. She looked into my eyes shocked. But did not say a word. I turned and left.

Posted from WordPress Tutsies blog


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