hurt

Dear you

Could we exchange hearts ♥ for a bit? I can’t possibly carry mine any longer. It’s too heavy burdened and missing you. I think yours is lighter. I can’t seem to move one.

The one

Questions on love, on the one. My curiosity lies on the one. Does every person have only one love that’s real and just on another level in their life time? What about the other people they met who are just as good? Do many people believe in the one? How does one know that this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. And what about in cases of divorce. Where do the visions and dreams and wishes go? I really get hurt when my dreams are crushed. I’m a deep romantic and old fashioned when it comes to love. Is there a real love that lasts forever? I always respect and praise couples in their old age who are still together. How do they manage and what’s their secret? I’m at the age were I dream. It’s the in between age from teenland to adult hood and I’m trying to figure out who I am. Is this real? Or the fairy tale IV known as life isn’t what I had dreamed of. The place where I gotta consciously distinguish between fantasy, dreams and reality. Questions questions fill my head
I’m the type of person who likes to ponder and its hard to brush it off until I come up with a solution. I wish I had all the answers but again I love the incognito exploration.

This is when I bid you adue its 11pm. I got to try and sleep.
my mind is too busy contemplating too sleep but I’ll try

My better half

Its like iv known you all my life.
The things you do,
The things you like to do
And the things you say
You are another version of me.

The connection
Heart to heart connection
Between us
The chemistry
The understanding
The vibes

Our likes, our dislikes
Our visions and dreams
Our views and perspectives
Our God
All run in the same direction

Iv known you for a short while
but you seem to understand me like I understand myself.

That’s a big achievement for me
Because I always find myself alone and very different from others.
But with you its like u get in my brain and know my exact thoughts. Even before I speak them you already do.

Its puzzling
Its amazing
You amaze me in your speech, your conduct, your presentation
In your life of thought

I never knew two very different people could have soo much in common.
When He told me about you I did not quite grasp
But as each and everyday goes by
I’m left speechless by your humility.

I think its getting safer to say you are meant for me and I you.
There many things we will accomplish together

I just hope and wish
Neither of us will mess this up.
I’m grateful for this getting to know or learning period.
Sometimes it sounds too good to be true.

And honestly speaking I do not know what to do
When it comes to you.
That’s a good thing because I am a very opinionated person

Lastly I am very grateful to have meet someone like you. Like me. Like us.
I pray we will be able to dig deeper into our hearts and connect deeper
Your type of love.
My hearts desire

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To love and to hold 2:3

‘Mrs Madison, you mean you are being sued?’

‘Yes, after the fire and all now the sue, we hardly have enough money to fix the building, the lights have been off, no money for electricity bills. Its over Matthan, this is all we had, even though it wasn’t all that, we wanted to leave something in our sons name. Now its all gone. All gone.’
‘Do you have a lawyer Mrs Madison?’
‘Yes we were granted one.’
‘No I will look for the best lawyer for you.’

Matt found the best lawyer but they were still losing the case on the last day for them to present a petition, Matt came up with a last minute idea.

‘What if I buy the hospital from you? Ill renovate it, put up electricity but it will stills be in your name.’
‘We can’t aSk that of you, Matt.’

‘See in that way your son will have something to inherit. You will still have your hotel. You can get 100 percent profit. Ill have you sponsored by some big hospital.’
‘No Matt, that’s too much!’ Mrs Madison screamed and walked out of the lounge.

The lounge was warm and cosy, Matt had gone over to see the Madisons.

The couch he sat on was white with green flowers, there were pictures spread all over the wall. A wooden coffee table sat in the middle of the room. There were many antiques too.
Mr Madison sat opposite Matt, looking at him thoughtfully.

‘Son it is wrong of us to burden our problems on you. This is the only thing we will leave for him. Lucy and I will come up with some fundraising to get the hospital fixed, atleast let’s us split 50:50.’
‘No sir, I don’t need the money.’
‘Ok 40:60?’
‘Ok that will do.’
‘I will speak to Lucy.’

The madisons won the case because they had sold the building to Matt.
Mrs Madison with some church members put up a yard sale and cake and candy to raise funds. Mr Madison did some work and over time they had enough to fix the building. Matt also managed to get some funding and a big hospital to sponsor them.
_____________________________________

Matt was soon home. Samantha had moved in with him. During one weak moment for Matt, she had persuaded him that she should move in with him. Matt consented.

‘Matt I need some money, the strap for my gucci bag fell off. And my victoria secret perfume is finished.’
‘Sorry I can’t give you that money now.’
‘Matt don’t you love me any more?’
‘I do.’
‘Then why don’t you give me what I need anymore?’
‘What is what you need? I have given you shelter, food, clothing.’
‘I want money, cash, dough, see my pockets are empty.’

Samantha was walking around in a shirt and panties. She was usually half Unclad. Matt could see her long legs. She had just taken a shower and washed her hair. She smelled good.

‘I found a deposit the other day in your tab Matt.’
‘Oh so now you are going through my tablet?’
‘Well yes, what do you expect, I wanted to see where your money is going, because you are not spending on me.’
‘Sigh Samantha, does it always have to be about money?’
‘Yes as long as you getting some, you give me some too. And by giving me some I mean big bucks.’

‘If you must know!’

Matt was beginning to get angry.

‘I have bought a hospital.’
‘a hospital Matt?’
‘Yes’

Samantha laughed.

‘What do you need a hospital for?.’
‘I’m helping out some old couple.’
‘So you waist my money on an old couple ?’
‘Your money Samantha??’
‘Yes my money. I’m your girl I’m entitled to half of it.’
‘That’s when we are married.’
‘So then why not?’
‘Why not what Samantha?’
‘Get married? Put a ring on my finger.’
‘We have just been dating for 3 months.’
‘Sure thing you are rich and handsome, what else do I need?’
‘Love!’
‘You don’t want to! Fine Matt!’

Samantha began to pack her bags.

‘What are you doing?’
‘leaving.’
‘Because I don’t want to marry you?’
‘Yes. And you don’t wanna spend on me.’
‘Why you little ungrateful. Sure thing get out and don’t come back.!!!. Gold digger.’
‘By the way matt you are no good in bed, I used to fake all of those screams.’

And she left.

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My love

My love
A deep burning desire
An aching sensation
In my heart of hearts
A longing
A leap in my heart
Dancing to the tune
The tune of love

The image of you
Forever stuck in my brain
Can’t rub it out
Fleeting pictures of time spent
Together,
Your smile, your eyes, your hands
Rhythm of the beat goes beyond control
Wishing for you to be near
Even a few feet away
To hear you voice, ur laugh

Reading your body language
Hear you say my name
The name you so love
My fantasy

You maybe far right now
Beyond mountains and borders
Slight possibility of meeting
But one thing I’m sure is
I love you so much
I dream of spending the rest of my life with you
As most people say
You feel it within you
When you find the right one
I think I found him and
He is you

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Dear diary, a note to my hubby 2b

I can’t wait to get married. I’m 20, I just started working. I’m now starting to realise the realness and importance of ‘the world’. As young you don’t have to deal with bills and all. Infact it seemed when I began work that’s when now all the expenses suddenly showed up.

Uhmmmm now I seem to be deriving the topic. I was talking about getting married. I’m not any way near that stage. I just met this guy, so we are still getting to know. The guy I thought would be my forever turns out right now isn’t Gods plan. So why am I here daydreaming about my hubby, who maybe a thousand kms away or maybe within reach. Whom I am uncertain of who he is. If that makes sense.

Because I’m an old fashioned romantic, who still believes that even in this world full of divorce. Marriage can still stand. As long as two people are bound in with God as their priority.

So hubby if you are who I think or have ‘been told’ you are. I pray you may stand strong and faithful, blessed and fulfilled, smart and thoughtful even as I try my best to. I pray you are safe and protected. Because I know I will love you so much. And vice versa. Whoever you are, take extra care because your wifey is here today and many other days thinking and praying for you.

Love always your wife to be!!

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Open your eyes today.

I don’t understand why people choose to stay or live in dream land. And no matter what,
they refuse to wake up.
Open ur eyes,
see what’s in front of u, today.
What is speaking
What you refuse to see nor hear.
What is clear, right under your nose. Live one day as it comes
And you will not thrive to reach an unreachable goal, in an unrealistic world.
Open your eyes and see the hurt you are causing around you.
The needs you fail to meet today.
They will result in a failed tomorrow.
What are you thriving for?
A better today will cause a better tomorrow
Open your eyes and see
Before its too late.

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